Are you guilty of being always right? Have you ever noticed how your expectations about someone seem to be confirmed, time and time again? Whether you think a certain person will not follow through their promise or you’re certain that your new relationship will fail, based on your past experiences, you often end up being right.
This isn’t a coincidence – it’s the result of a self-fulfilling prophecy, a powerful psychological concept that can shape your relationships and future without you even realizing it. A self-fulfilling prophecy is when your beliefs about a situation or a person lead you to act in ways that cause those beliefs to come true. This happens through subtle, often unconscious behaviors.
For example, if you expect someone to be untrustworthy, you might behave more cautiously or keep your distance. In turn, this can make the other person feel isolated, leading them to act exactly as you anticipated, thus confirming your belief.
This phenomenon isn’t limited to personal relationships. It’s been widely studied in settings like education and workplaces. Teachers who expect certain students to excel often give them more attention and support, resulting in better performance, a well-known effect called the Pygmalion Effect. On the flip side, low expectations can limit someone’s opportunities to succeed, creating a cycle of underachievement.
In romantic relationships, the self-fulfilling prophecy can be especially impactful. For example, if you believe your relationship is doomed to fail, you might be afraid to show and act with affection. This can lead your partner to withdraw or act in ways that will confirm your belief. The more you act in accordance with your belief, the more the cycle continues, keeping the relationship stuck in a negative loop that eventually causes it to break.
Your thoughts and expectations hold immense power in shaping the dynamics of your relationships. When you catch yourself saying, “I knew they’d act that way,” it might be time to reflect on whether your own behavior had a role in making that happen.
Like it or not, the self-fulfilling prophecy reminds us that we have more control over our relationships than we often realize. Sometimes, the first step to creating a healthier connection is changing the story you tell yourself about the other person. Because, for better or worse, you’re always right.
Now, with all this being said there is always the exception to the rule. And in those situations you’re right as well!