Some of you may have come across my “Call for Research Participants,” and some of you were quite surprised by it. I get it. Studying psychology at this stage in my life might not be what you expected from me. Then again, you don’t know the whole story.
This has been a lifelong journey. It started early on with a deep desire to understand something that always seemed to elude me—something that I’ve been searching for through my art for as long as I can remember.
Like many people, I’ve experienced emotional heaviness—those stretches when joy feels distant and the days drag on. For a long time, I didn’t call it depression. I called it being unlucky. I called it being stuck. I called it “life making fun of me.” Regardless of the label, I was searching for meaning—for that missing piece I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
Then one day, after one of my long talks with my brother who’s patiently listened to my stories over the years—something shifted. Or rather, I shifted. That conversation led me to enroll in a psychology program as the next step in my ongoing search for answers. Psychology gave me another language and framework to name what I was feeling and understand not just myself, but others too.
As I progressed, I started wondering: What helps people move forward? Why do some find healing in therapy, while others turn to self-help or coaching? How do life transitions shape our identity? Eventually, this curiosity grew into the topic of my dissertation.
Just like my recent performance “Rhinoceritis in the Making,” this study is deeply personal. It’s an extension of my own healing, and an offering to help others walking similar paths while continuing to heal myself. I finally feel lucky because I released the resistance and gave myself the gift of learning and finding that missing piece.
If any of this resonates with you, go to the “Call for Research Participants” link below to learn more. I’d love to hear your story. Your voice and perspective are what enrich my study.